Donnie Launches Genius Nuclear Bailout Plan After Crypto Eats $238M of Trump Media’s Lunch (-8%)

No one could have seen this coming…

Our financially irresponsible friends over at Trump Media & Technology Group reported their second-quarter results late last night, and found out the Truth hurts a helluva lot more when it arrives attached to a $238 million net loss.

That’s right. The platform Donnie built for his exiled Twitter fingers managed to lose more than $238 million on just $1.7 million in revenue. (That’s $140 down the tube for every $1 brought in).

For comparison, Trump Media lost nearly $20 million during the same quarter last year, meaning the company successfully increased revenue 89% while multiplying its losses by nearly twelve. Growth!

Of course, Trump Media didn’t lose $238 million because Americans stopped clicking sponsored MyPillow ads. Declines in digital assets and securities inflicted more than $190 million of the damage.

Chief Financial Officer Phillip Juhan said operating expenses are “largely impacted by the price volatility of digital assets.” Which is a very professional way of pointing at Bitcoin and yelling, “He did it.”

Trump Media may technically operate a social network, streaming service, financial brand, and whatever gets stapled onto the empire next, but its quarterly results are increasingly controlled by a crypto chart off its medication. Operating expenses went above $165 million, up 275% year over year.

Truth Social, meanwhile, generated most of Trump Media’s $1.7 million in quarterly revenue through advertising services.

That’s less revenue than a moderately successful Buc-ee’s in Kentucky probably generates selling brisket sandwiches, gasoline, and patriotic swim trunks over a long weekend.

Making matters worse, reports came out that Truth Social’s traffic sank sharply this summer despite owning exclusive broadcasting rights to the most market-moving thumbs on Earth. 

And that brings us to the company’s latest attempt to monetize Donnie’s ability to move stocks from a late night ALL CAPS post.

You’ve probably heard of it… and perhaps even clicked the link before your bank account was escorted from the premises. 

It’s called Truth API and it allows Wall Street firms to receive Donnie’s Truth Social posts within milliseconds… giving their algorithms enough time to shit themselves before the rest of America reaches the second capitalized word. 

Trump Media said it has already signed more than 10 customer agreements, primarily with high-frequency trading firms paying between $60,000 and $100,000 per month.

For up to $1.2 million a year, hedge funds can learn that “IRAN WILL NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON!!!” exactly three milliseconds before your father-in-law screenshots it and sends it to the family group chat. 

Well not to be Johnny Raincloud over here… but even 10 customers paying the highest reported price would generate only around $12 million annually.

That’s certainly helpful, but Trump Media just lost approximately twenty times that amount in three months.

The Larry Fink’s and Jamie Dimon’s of the world could pay by the capital letter until Donnie’s thumbs fall off, and another crypto quarter like this would flush every incoming dollar down a gold-plated Mar-a-Lago toilet.

Perhaps that explains why Trump Media is now stepping away from two planned agreements with Crypto.com and refocusing on its media business.

Well, I should say… its media business AND (wait for it) nuclear fusion.

Because when your social-media company’s crypto side quest blows a $190 million hole through the drywall, the logical response is to begin recreating the sun. 

Interim CEO Kevin McGurn called Trump Media’s pending combination with TAE Technologies “the single most important driver of long-term value for this company.”

More specifically, TAE is attempting to commercialize nuclear fusion, a technology that has spent the past several decades being approximately thirty years away from powering anything. Case in point? There are currently zero commercial fusion plants generating electricity anywhere on earth.

Trump Media has therefore completed one of the most breathtaking corporate pivots in American history: Twitter clone, streaming service, crypto treasury, Wall Street data pipe, and now experimental nuclear-energy company. 

At this rate, Truth Social will be selling GLP-1 weight-loss injections and launching a space company by Christmas.

Investors responded to this flawlessly coherent master plan by kicking DJT shares down 8%. Making the stock now worth a decimal point of what it fetched shortly after the company’s 2024 Nasdaq debut.

Still, management finally has a path forward.

Charge 12 hedge funds $100,000 a month to receive Donnie’s posts before the peasants, strap Truth Social to an experimental fusion reactor, and pray Bitcoin stops teabagging the income statement.

What could possibly go wrong?

At the time of publishing this article, Stocks.News holds positions in Bitcoin as mentioned in the article.